Eggs

One of my favorite movies is Annie Hall. At the end of it Woody Allen tells a great joke to describe his relationship with Annie: A man goes to see a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, I’m pretty sure my brother is crazy and I don’t know what to do - he thinks he’s a chicken.” The doctor says, “I think you should consider having him committed,” to which the man replies, “I would…but I like the eggs.” I just love that joke, it holds so much wisdom, because we all have those kinds of relationships in our lives. We hold onto people and situations even when we know they’ve run their course, because on some visceral level those people soothe our egos. They flatter, keep us buoyed and feed into our delusions--somehow always knowing just what to say or do to keep us needing more. And even though we know, deep in our hearts, they are pandering, and sometimes lying, our fragile little egos keep whispering, “but how will I live without those ego-boosting eggs?!” I know I have found myself in that situation more times than I care to admit. I hold on to people and things that are no longer serving any real purpose, and in some cases causing me pain or keeping me stuck, because I can’t give up those tiny, little moments that continue to feed my delusions. But at least I’m aware. And lately I’ve been asking for my eggs sunny side up. I figure if I’m going to buy the eggs, I should at least have them served exactly how I like them. Dig in, RT

Navigating the River of Denial

Recently, I was invited to become a part of a brand new yoga studio that promised to be state-of-the art beautiful, offer a wide variety of classes, and establish a wonderful community of like-minded people. For me, the best part, was feeling as though my accomplishments as a yoga teacher were at long last being recognized, as I had signed on to be a director. Over the long months of construction I met with the owner from time to time but each visit revealed a different support staff, and more directors; any ideas or opinions I offered were quickly brushed aside until finally, I was asked to be patient and lay low while construction headed toward completion. I was getting some very weird vibes – but I ignored them – this was going to be far too good an opportunity for me to pass up. A few weeks later I received an email from one of the new directors informing me that the studio would be opening in a couple of weeks, which conjured up even more weird vibes along with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I called the manager and asked why – since I was a director – was I finding out about this via email? I was told it was an honest mistake, and I would be hearing from someone soon to finalize details of my position. And I actually bought into it. I’ll spare you the rest of the particulars as I really don’t want to give this place or the unskillful beings who own and run it anymore energy. But after a few more ups and downs I resigned, and a valuable lesson unfolded. When my daughter visited the studio for the first time she turned to me and asked, “How do you not feel this bad energy?” I gave her a vague reply but I knew she was right. “Why would you even want to be associated with these people?” was her next question, and I knew then that I had idealized the situation, and had stubbornly ignored every whisper of warning from that intrinsic all-knowing inner voice. The truth was, that what I hoped it would be, and what it actually was, were polar opposites. My ego was so caught up in wanting to be “important,” in wanting people to KNOW I was good, that I had completely let go of the fact that I was, and am, already valued far beyond my imagination. Almost immediately after I walked away--feeling hurt, rejected and deeply disappointed--the Universe sent me bouquets of love; it’s so incredible how she does that! Unsolicited emails, and hugs of gratitude showed up daily. I began to recognize that my value is beautifully reflected in the smiles and postures of my students. It’s clear that my human being-ness had gotten caught up in the currents of Denial. I had been lured by the promise of fame and fortune (such as it is), and had forgotten that being a yoga teacher is all about connecting from your heart. A big, state-of-the-art yoga studio based on the concept of exclusivity, operated by people who don’t really understand yoga, will never be authentic. It will never be a community of heart, and it was not the right place for me. So once again the Universe had come to the rescue, reminding me that there is a bigger picture, and that we must all learn to trust that in the grand scheme of things, disappointments usually turn out to be blessings. Keep the Faith, RT

Go with the flow…

…I say that all the time in class.
I take the seat of the teacher and I talk about the choppy waters of life and how fighting the current of fear and delusion will only lead to frustration. I certainly believe it to be true but somehow I find myself treading in dark, murky waters over and over again; fighting the fearful currents with all my might.

The reality is that there are are so many people in this world who must navigate far more treacherous waters than any I have had to face. They must actually fight for each precious drop of life. So why is it that I continue to struggle in the flow of my very sweet life? Why do I find myself frustrated by tsunamis of self-doubt initiated by other people’s careless words and fears?

Someone very wise recently told me that we only begin to develop self-confidence when we can cultivate the ability to overcome delusions and lose the ignorance of ego. Adding that we mustn’t fear darkness as it is a much grander truth than the flowers that easily bloom in the warmth of the sun.

I think about these words as I look up at an overcast night sky. It seems empty and thick and dreary; but as I continue to watch, I see a glimmer of light, and soon enough the dark clouds part, and starlight comes beaming through, offering a hint of the Divine. I understand that the stars were always there -- maybe it was simply my ego that blocked the view.

One night, while on retreat in Mexico, I jumped fearlessly into the warmth of the ocean while those very same stars twinkled above me. I think about how comforting it felt to rest on the surface of the dark and soothing sea as the stars offered tiny beacons of hope.
Gentle waves rocked me effortlessly to shore.
I felt safe and courageous.
All I had to do was go with the flow.

RT

Believe it or not

Not long ago I received a lovely text message from my daughter. She was in Vermont snowboarding, and felt compelled to say she loved and missed me. It made me feel really warm and happy --- my heart was smiling and overflowing with pure love.

Minutes later (really), I received an email from someone who felt equally compelled to send a laundry list of some of my most unpleasant qualities. I was so shocked, and so wounded, I actually cried.

Now I’m sure you’re thinking that I would know better than to dwell on negative and judgmental statements, and instead focus on the lovely text from my sweet, beautiful daughter -- especially because of my many years of practicing and teaching yoga, and the fact that this person doesn’t know me very well.

Apparently, not so much. It took me days to shake that awful, anxious pit in my stomach. No matter if the negative comments were true or not, it was my choice to attach to them, and, as a result, suffer. It wasn’t the sender that caused the suffering, it was me.

We always have the choice to be happy. I chose to stay attached to the unskillful judgments of another, and linger in the resulting negative emotions. But those words could only hurt me if I allowed them to. I didn’t have to read them, believe them, or hold them in my heart.

I suppose it’s our human nature to yearn to always be right and always be loved. But my yogic nature was nudged awake by this recent episode, and I realized that while I won’t always be right or always loved, it’s okay. I am responsible for my own happiness, and, I am for sure the root cause of my own suffering.

So I saved the text and deleted the email. I‘ve decided not to suffer; I’ve decided I’d much rather be the cause of my own happiness.

May all beings be happy and free!
RT

Quick Check

So many interesting things have been happening that I hardly know where to begin...

For now I just want to share my new Sunday morning class at the Yoga Loft in Bedford -- you can enjoy a yummy brunch afterwards! And a new restorative class at Tully beginning on Thursday, October 28th. Hope to see you at either or both.

Will catch up with my blogging asap - now I need to figure out my new iphone!!

Om Shanti
RT

The Endless Summer

Hello Beautiful Yogis,

It's been a very hot, and very busy summer!

I've taken more than a few opportunities to enjoy the glorious beach weather (the ocean has been spectacular), but I've also been working on, and planning, lots of new classes and projects for the Fall, including a teacher's immersion (co-taught with my dear friend and colleague Antonio Sausys) that will help yoga teachers and health professionals bring the magic of yoga to anyone suffering with cancer, as well as some soothing aromatherapy, healing Reiki, and re-energizing back workshops. Please check the schedule below for exact dates, locations, and times.

This week and next I'm covering two extra classes at the peaceful, zen-like Yoga Loft:
Gentle Hatha 9:45 AM on Tuesdays (in addition to my regular 8:15 Therapeutic Flow), and 8:30 AM on Thursdays.

Hope to meet you on the mat sometime soon...meantime, continue to enjoy the lazy, hazy days of summer!!

Love and Light,
RT

For Fit Yoga Fans - With Gratitude

During the course of the last several months, many Fit Yoga fans have been asking where and when the next issue would be published; and naturally, some inquires have been angry, especially regarding subscriptions. I decided to write this blog in an effort to clarify matters as well as to assure each of you that my intentions as the editor-in-chief are, and have always been, honorable.

Last year at this time the economic fallout hit the publishing industry hard, and as you know many well-respected, long-established magazines had to close down. Some hard business decisions had to be made, and it soon became clear that in order for Fit Yoga to survive on any level, our magazine would need to go on hiatus so we could regroup, and take a few deep breaths.

My hope was that by this time we would have been able to re-launch Fit Yoga in a new format and continue on the path of exchanging and sharing our love of all things yogic. Since Fit Yoga had always been the “little engine that could” all of us who have worked so hard on every issue held tightly to the intention of coming back as soon as possible. I was confident that February, 2010 would see our new launch hit the stands but unfortunately things have not been settled yet. Meantime, I’ve been trying to maintain some sort of connection to our readers by sending out occasional e-newsletters while planning some spectacular retreats and stories for the months ahead.

I understand the frustration many of you have shared, probably better than you can imagine. I know you miss the magazine and that you’re angry about your subscriptions. Trust me when I say that I too am upset, and miss the job I loved so dearly with every fiber of my being--not to mention the regular paychecks. To say it’s been a rough road is a huge understatement but what makes it infinitely worse is the knowledge that some people are holding strong animosity towards me personally.

Of course I get it...I am the “face” of Fit Yoga and the logical person to turn to, and although a $20 or $30 subscription doesn’t seem earth shattering in the big picture, it’s one more annoyance to deal with, and one that you wouldn’t expect to have with a yoga magazine. I’m so very sorry that things have unfolded they way that they have, and if I could, I would fix every single subscription snafu personally. What I can offer is this blog, along with informative e-newsetters, and my sincere intention that Fit Yoga will be back on the streets soon.

My personal practice, along with teaching yoga has helped me cope during this last year, proving once again that the practice of yoga in all forms is the key to patience, understanding, and compassion. Although the business decisions are out of my hands, as an editor, yoga teacher, and student I strive to practice with integrity in all that I do, and I remain optimistic about the future of Fit Yoga.

My heartfelt thanks to all our loyal readers -- more updates, interesting stories, comments, and products from past and new contributors will be coming your way on this blog as well as in e-newsletters. Please do contact me at ritatude@gmail.com if you would like to be on my mailing list.

Perhaps someday soon I’ll see you in class, on a retreat, or at the very least we’ll once again connect on the pages of Fit Yoga magazine. Wishing each of you abundance, grace, and courage.

Love and light,
Rita

[For all subscription inquiries please contact George Agoglia: gagoglia@gmgpub.com]